


maybe i just wanna be yours

by chambers_none



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Angst, Drabble, F/M, Post-War, toph is a grown independent woman who doesn't know how to deal with feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-30
Updated: 2015-12-30
Packaged: 2018-05-10 10:56:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5583217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chambers_none/pseuds/chambers_none
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>years after the war ended, and the dust has settled, toph's still not ready to do that. settle.</p>
            </blockquote>





	maybe i just wanna be yours

there’s something about her eyes, tonight. even with the fire burning brightly and dwarfing the reflection in them sokka can _tell_ something’s wrong. he doesn’t understand the apprehension that rises in him incrementally, then rapidly, and by the time the embers have died out, he’s close to trembling.

it’s ridiculous. he’s sokka, of the water tribe. he’s helped defeat the fire lord, he’s invented roughly three-quarters of all modern day tools, he can’t possibly be doomed by something as intangible and fragile as a _look_.

“i can feel you shaking, you know,” and suddenly, of course, toph is beside him. her voice is both antidote and poison.

“like it matters,” he’s about to mumble something else, some quickfire turn of words that often leaves everyone half-bemused at nonsense, but patently ignoring of the actual emotional matter at hand. he doesn’t know why he tries; toph silences him with another look, a near-reflexive turn of the head and an arched eyebrow this time.

“we need to talk,” she continues, like it’s the weather they will discuss.

“we’re in the middle of a reunion-”

“and everyone’s going to bed. you can’t hold this off any longer, sokka,” and he thinks back to simpler days when all they had was the world underneath their bison and only one, mortal enemy.

she leads him- she always does- to an overhang he’d spotted earlier. it’s far enough away from the bonfire that no one could think to intrude without proper warning beforehand, but close by to be on alert. not that the avatar couldn’t take care of himself, especially now that he’s in his prime, but old habits die hard.

“we can’t do this anymore,” she whispers, and her voice is so soft sokka wishes it was inaudible. but he’s strained to catch her words, and catch them he does. he remains mute, his limbs locked in place. he doesn’t want to look at her. he can’t look at her.

“i’m ten and eight, sokka. you’re twenty and two, you know. people are wondering why you keep staying put when you’re supposed to be out there, touring the world, making more changes. and don’t tell me about all of your ten inventions, captain smartass. you’re stuck here. i’m stuck here, more or less-”

and this time he really does need to get a word in, “no- you’re not! you’re rarely here, you keep coming and going-”

“but i always return! i’m stuck here because of you, you blockhead!”

 _oh_ , sokka thinks, dazedly. it’s a monologue, now, and he can barely pay attention to the stream of frustration. he’s never heard her talk so fast and so much now, and he doesn’t even want to begin confirming her tears. he doesn’t know what to think- he doesn’t want to think. all he can hear is toph’s anger at her own self for such an unfulfilling desire, because even when they’d started this all those years ago their one rule had been to keep it clandestine. “we aren’t meant for each other,” she’d stated simply, and he doesn’t know why he had listened to a fifteen year old. between rough kisses in the dark and hurried fumbles he’d caved; now he wishes he hadn’t acquiesced so easily, at least.

“you need- you need to fix things with suki, too, or whichever oogie of the month,” toph slurs, getting up, an almost stumble, even though they both know it’s not working out with suki, it never had. she’s still not bitter over the girls he does treat right, he knows, she’s just concerned for him. “you were meant to settle down,” she had barked in laughter once when he first tried to take her on a date. “i’m not, lover boy. it’s fine.”

sokka grasps at her hand- he’s amazed she’s allowed him to- and holds her like that for a second. legs dangling over the overhang, eyes blurred half with tears and half with the dark of the night, and he can’t even look at her. his nails pinch crescent moons into her wrist. she must know that. he doesn’t know what to say, all the wisecrack in the world and he still can’t come up with anything now-

he uncurls his fingers. he doesn’t hear her walk away.

**Author's Note:**

> title taken from the arctic monkeys.
> 
> this came out of nowhere? an anon on tumblr asked me to write tokka and this just got blurted out in under half an hour. feel free to send me pairings and prompts for more drabbles at isca-riot.tumblr.com/ask!


End file.
